Meiji Dreams
by superlazygirl
Summary: A series of random drabbles revolving around the various characters of Rurouni Kenshin. [2: A Rurouni's Revenge. Kenshin has a score to settle with a certain cop.]
1. A Dream Come True

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. It owns me.

**A DREAM COME TRUE**

superlazygirl

- - -

Swordsmen did not become ill. He could not, off-hand, recall any specific mention of this rule in the teachings of the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu or in the romantic laws of Bushido, but Kenshin was fairly sure it existed in the Unwritten Laws of Warriors Who Wished to Keep Their Dignity.

When searching his memory, Kenshin could only remember one instance in which illness had claimed his normally healthy body. He was a child, living with Hiko, and accidentally ate a few mushrooms that did not sit well with him. (On the other hand, he blamed his sickness on the fact that he had been raised by a neglectful egomaniac, so that didn't technically count.) As an adolescent, and as an adult, he had lived through countless battles. He had endured cuts, bruises, broken bones, and walked the fine line between life and death, but never had he been incapacitated by something as common as a cold.

His face might have burned with shame if it wasn't already flush with fever.

"Will he be alright, Megumi-san?" Kaoru asked nervously and bit her lower lip.

"Ken-san will be fine, but he needs his rest." The doctor's tone was a bit sharper than usual. When Kenshin had collapsed in the dojo earlier, Kaoru had rushed through the darkness of night and awakened Megumi from precious slumber. Although concerned for his health, she seemed rather peeved by Kaoru's suffocating behavior. (And the sudden jolt from blissful sleep probably didn't help either.)

Kenshin could understand Kaoru's over-protective nature considering the Shishio Incident, to name one, but he was starting to notice that her behavior was wearing on the nerves of the others. Sano and Yahiko had teased her mercilessly – but several injuries and ridiculous amounts of training had curbed that a bit – and currently they were barely on speaking terms. And now Megumi was starting to become irritated by the constant hounding, despite Kaoru's good intentions.

"Are you sure it's just a cold? I mean, he collapsed! Kenshin's never done that before. What if it's something more serious, like pneumonia?"

"It's hardly that serious. All he needs is rest. Perhaps if he had a moment's peace Ken-san wouldn't feel quite so drained." Her voice was getting drier, taking the girl's doubts as an insult to her expertise. And Kenshin could have sworn he heard a growl come from Kaoru's direction.

But that might just have been a hallucination caused by the fever. Yes, that sounded better.

"What are you implying, Megumi-san?" Her hands moved to her hips. This was most definitely not good.

"I'm _saying_," the doctor rose from her seated position next to a now very uncomfortable Kenshin, "that you need to stop playing house and let a _professional_ take care of Ken-san."

And that's when all hell broke loose.

"For your information, _Megumi_, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of Kenshin."

"Oh, I see, so Ken-san is just faking these symptoms then?"

"Are you saying it's my fault he's sick? That's ridiculous!"

"Is it? With your constant nagging wearing on his nerves this sickness was inevitable. It's a wonder he didn't collapse sooner."

"Now, now," Kenshin coughed out and waved his hands in an attempt at peace. His vision was beginning to blur a little. "Let's not…"

"M-maybe you're right, Megumi-san."

Kenshin stared at the young kendo instructor in disbelief. Had she conceded to Megumi? He made a mental note to go down to the police station and punch Saitou square in the face just in case the end of the world was scheduled for tomorrow.

Kaoru lowered her head and the ire in Megumi's eyes softened. "It's just that I…I'm not like you Megumi, I'm not a doctor. I can't care for Kenshin like you can. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there are just some things I can never do for him."

A surge of compassion washed over the rurouni. He knew she was being a bit over-protective, but he had never thought about it too deeply. Was this how Kaoru felt? Helpless? Useless? Oh how he wanted to take her into his arms and sweep every worry from her mind.

Of course, it would probably help if he could _talk_. His mouth felt dry and his attempts at speech came out raspy and hoarse.

"Kaoru-dono," he could barely find his voice. "You take care of this one very well…"

"Ken-san is right. I was too harsh on you. I know you mean well Kaoru, and if you want, I could teach you a few things."

Her blue orbs brightened at this prospect. "Really?"

Megumi nodded, "Absolutely. I can teach you everything you need to know about taking care of a man; about taking care of his _every _need."

Wait. _Wait._

What?

Kaoru blushed faintly. "Well, I don't know…"

"Come now, you want to please Ken-san don't you? I can show you how to make a man feel very, _very _good."

Oh Kami-sama, no. No. This was _not _happening.

"But I…I mean, do you think I could? I've never…"

Megumi waved her hand dismissively. "Of course you can. It's not like I'm trying to teach you how to cook." A glare from Kaoru silenced whatever else the doctor was going to say on that subject. "What I mean is, you love Kenshin, right?

She nodded.

"You want to make him happy don't you?"

Another nod.

"Then I can show you how."

Kenshin fidgeted nervously. Oh for the love of all that is holy, please let them be talking about making medicine or treating a wound or anything decidedly _non-sexual_ in nature.

Although…

No, no. His mind will _not _go there. Think about something else. Kaoru is innocent, chaste, and untouchable. Pure as the snow. Megumi would never teach her anything inappropriate. Megumi would never _do _anything inappropriate. After all, she is a professional, right?

…D-Did she just lick her lips?

Oh Kami-sama.

Both women approached the helpless swordsmen and knelt down close to him.

"Oro?" His head was spinning. "Megumi-dono, Kaoru-dono, what are you…"

The doctor placed a single finger against his lips to silence him. "Now Ken-san, just sit back and let Megumi take care of you in her _special _way."

Please don't let her mean what he thinks she means. Oh for the love of his sanity.

"K-Kenshin," Kaoru muttered. "I want you to…to know that I care about you very much. I want to make you happy."

Oh Kaoru. Sweet, loving Kaoru. He wanted so much to tell her the same, that he loved her too, that he wanted to…wait.

_Why was she taking her clothes off?_

Kaoru slide her kimono off her shoulders, revealing the pale, supple flesh underneath. It looked so soft, so beautiful, just begging to be tasted.

No. _No. _This was going too far. "Kaoru-dono," his voice was barely squeaking, "I don't think this is..." But he never got the opportunity to finish. Megumi traded in her single finger for both hands. She was knelt behind him, both hands (usually warm to the touch, but now cool against his hot skin) over his mouth, and she pulled him back until he was leaning against her.

"Ken-san," her breath was hot in his ear. "Don't be silly. Kaoru and I are going to take very good care of you. Just relax and enjoy yourself."

Easy for her to say. She wasn't the one who felt like their head was about to explode.

A searing heat washed over him until his world dissolved into a swirl of wandering hands and soft murmurs. Kenshin tried to speak, tried to move but his limbs felt as heavy as lead. His vision blurred, but he remembered seeing glimpses of pale flesh and soft curves pressed against his own flush skin. His heart beat furiously and he felt somewhere between a nightmare and the greatest dream of his life.

"I think he's coming to!"

What? Was that Kaoru's voice?"

"Ken-san! Can you hear me?"

Kenshin opened his eyes to see two worried expressions looking down at him. He was lying on a futon in his room with Megumi and Kaoru leaning next to him, and most importantly they were fully dressed.

"Oro? What…what happened?"

"You passed out in the dojo, Kenshin," Kaoru answered. "I went to get Megumi. Are you alright? Your face is so red."

He gave a sigh of relief. It had all just been a dream. Nothing more. "I think this one will be just fine."

"I agree," Megumi added. "He just needs some rest. Perhaps if you gave him a moment's peace, Kaoru, he wouldn't feel quite so exhausted."

"What are you implying, Megumi-san?"

Oh no. No no no no.

"I'm _saying_ that you need to stop playing house and let a _professional_ take care of Ken-san."

This was _not_ happening again. It _couldn't_.

"For your information, _Megumi_, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of Kenshin."

"Oh, I see, so Ken-san is just faking these symptoms then?"

"Are you saying it's my fault he's sick? That's…Megumi! He's passed out again!"

The doctor turned around to see the rurouni unconscious once again. "That's odd. He must be more ill than I first thought."

Kaoru could think of no other explanation.

- - -

**Author's Note: **This was written by request for the lovely and talented Hotspur. This is probably the first of many RK drabbles so be expecting more crack.


	2. A Rurouni's Revenge

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. It owns me.

**Warning: **PURE CRACK AHOY.

**A RUROUNI'S REVENGE**

superlazygirl

- - -

Kenshin ignored the rules of polite conduct and opened the door to Saitou's office without knocking. He was followed by a pouting Kaoru who had been begging him to turn back since they left the dojo and an excited Yahiko and Sanosuke who had taken bets on who would draw blood first. 

And they all stopped dead in their tracks.

Saitou had not been alone in his office. A woman (they assumed she was his wife) was also with him and apparently Kenshin had busted in at most..._inconvenient_ moment.

Kaoru quickly covered Yahiko's eyes, Kenshin looked like he could have scooped his eyeballs out with a spoon, but Sanosuke only looked mildly surprised. "Tokio?" he asked.

"Sanosuke?"

"Ha! I thought it was you! I never forget a...er, face."

"You know my _wife_, roosterhead?" Saitou's voice was borderline murderous.

"Long story," they replied in unison.

There was a moment of heated, uncomfortable silence and Kenshin decided to step in before Sanosuke stole the fight he had come for.

"Saitou! I've come to settle the score with you."

"Is that so?" The ire in his eyes faded into a colder glare and his amber eyes practically glittered. Saitou grabbed his sword which had been leaning against the wall and faced his old adversary. "I wondered how long it would take you to come around..."

But before anyone could so much as blink, Kenshin charged forward and punched Saitou squarely in the jaw.

The attack has been so unexpected, so _Saitou-like_, that the Miburo didn't have time to defend himself and the force of the punch sent him reeling backwards until he hit the floor with a resounding thud.

And he didn't get back up.

There was dead silence as everyone in the room looked completely dumbfounded by the scene that had played out before them.

Except Yahiko who still had his eyes covered by Kaoru. He pushed her hands away. "What happened? WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I...think Kenshin won," The kendo instructor answered.

The rurouni calmly walked up the prone body on the floor, took the cigarettes from the man's pocket, and threw them out the office window. "Cigarettes are bad for you, that they are." Then he looked at the still shocked Tokio. "Will you be okay?"

Tokio looked at her unconscious husband, then to the Kenshingumi, and then out the window at the abandoned cigarettes. She shrugged, "I've wanted him to quit for years anyway."

- - -

**AN: **I know, I know. I have a lot of explaining to do.

In the last drabble there was a line, "Kenshin made a mental note to go down to the police station to punch Saitou square in face just in case the end of the world was scheduled for tomorrow." I figured that if Kenshin knew he only had a day to live "Settle the Score with Saitou" would be on the list of things to do.

And then I thought about how funny it would be if he just skipped the duel and sucker punched Saitou.

And thus this was born.


End file.
